SAS Veteran Defeated by Cardboard Box

Video game review of "Conflict" Desert Storm II" for Sony Playstation 2 (PS2).
Published on ciao.co.uk, October 2003.

Yes, it’s true. No sooner had Bradley, the leader of my SAS team-of-four, escaped from his cell in an Iraqi POW camp after it was hit by a laser-guided bomb dropped from an allied stealth bomber, he managed to get stuck in a dimly lit pile of cardboard boxes behind a secluded shed. Well, I guess all that time abroad away from his girlfriend, and the lack of privacy available in the army, all that stress…

Mind you, while the standard issue for said team of four includes primary and secondary weapons (machine gun or telescopic rifle, plus handgun or shotgun for close-quarters-battle), a handful of claymore mines, a couple of grenades (fragmentation and phosphorus), and half-a-dozen medipacks amongst others, there’s no mention of a box of Kleenex or girlie mags. Anyway, when needed, you’ll also be let loose with a laser designator to call in air strikes from gunships, LAW anti-tank hand-held missile launchers, or C4 with a remote control detonator. I’m hoping the latter might be in the shops soon, what with Guy Fawkes’ Night just around the corner. However, before I ramble into any more detail, let’s talk about why I’ve got this game in the first place.

When I got wind of the game publishers SCI doing a second game in the “Conflict: Desert Storm” series, but with a different designer (in this case, Pivotal Games) I was worried that a brilliant game would end up dismantled. Far from it, “II” is basically ‘more of the same’. If the first Desert Storm had needed much improvement then more of the same would be a disaster. As it is, this is basically a levels add-on pack the same size, if not bigger, than the original…and it’s great. Cross-fertilise “Medal of Honour: Frontline” with the famed “Command & Conquer: Red Alert” series on the PC, multiply good graphics by pi and add on your date of birth for good measure and you’ve got the gist. It looks good, it plays better, and is more addictive than skittles (the sweets, not the game).

This is basic one-mission-at-a-time, control a team of four, action game. There is no plot (this is war) and no sub-plots (this is the SAS, or US Delta Force as you prefer) – you follow orders, dammit. Note that you only get the same set of missions regardless of which of the two forces you choose, it just depends whether you’d prefer to be controlling four paranoid, trigger happy ex-colonials called Chad, Biff, Chip and Brad, or the SAS. The whole concept is based on the shenanigans of the special forces behind enemy lines before, during, and shortly after the Gulf War, and comprises typical ‘removal’ of key generals, key installations, and rescue of critical POWs. The only bonuses are those for stealth kills or going berserk in battle against overwhelming odds and managing to come out alive. The former involves using a silenced weapon, often from a long way away, or a knife, and the latter usually involves a lot of re-loading your last saved game.

However, don’t go mad with those ‘saves’. At least one ‘official’ Playstation 2 magazine claims you can save each level as many times as you like, but I’ve played the game version you buy on the street, and only ever been able to save any one level three times maximum. Beware! You need to be careful where you save. The first game was the same, which adds partially to the frustration but ultimately Pivotal’s attempt to make it realistic. Here’s a couple of tips so you don’t get too discouraged – on the “Chemical Warfare” level, save your game before you go through the door. On the “Air Cover” level, save your game before you press the button. You’ll be glad you did.

Anyway, if you’re anything like me you’ll kick off with the Full Metal Jacket-stylee training camp first. I know it seems dull, but do it – you’ll need to get to grips with ordering your team around because the quickest way to fail a mission is to have all your team bunched together when a T-72 tank or Iraqi with an RPG meanders round the corner. Once you’re in-country (oh yes, I know all the lingo) you’ll have a team comprising an expert in anti-tank/machine guns, a stealth and demolitions expert, a sharpshooter, and an all-rounder who’s also the leader. You’ll also need to pick a level to play the game at i.e. easy, medium, or hard, but remember dammit, this is war y’know, so there are no re-charge points, checkpoints, or anything else. The menu screens are fairly slick once you get the hang of them, and loading times bearable, even after you’ve just snuffed it….and then you’re off.

Game controls are intuitive and can be reprogrammed if you disagree. Sending your soldiers every which way is pretty easy, though knowing the best way to do it doesn’t come until you start to get into it more. When you first start, the temptation is to career into the Iraqi camp with all four of you in the jeep, so you can let loose with the mounted machine gun and rocket launcher. The most expeditious way to complete this part of the level, however, is to send Foley in first to do a bit of sneaky sniping.

You’ll soon realise that reconnaissance is an essential part of every mission. There are only four of you, and starting a pitch invasion isn’t a good idea if half the Iraqi army is waiting on the subs bench. Thus you’ll find yourself mercilessly strategising over each level, testing different routes, and using each team member’s own devious expertise against the opposition as you tiptoe through the streets of Baghdad or the sand of Iraq. Being able to call up a map of the locality helps with this, but while you’re doing it, you’ll realise it’s now one o’clock in the morning and you’ve eaten nothing, washed up nothing, and done nothing except play “Conflict: Desert Storm II” on the Playstation 2 since you got in from work. It’ll probably be dark, cold (because you haven’t switched on the central heating), and you’ll just have realised you’re still wearing the same coat and shoes you put on when you left the flat this morning when the sound of your girlfriend’s key turning in the door lock to your flat stirs you into action. Cue panic, yanking of plugs from power sockets, followed by an unusually generous offer to take your girlfriend out to dinner as you collide whilst trying to intercept her on the stairs. This gives you time to figure out how you’re going to do the washing-up before she see the flat, but then there’s the problem that you’ll have to do it while eating in the restaurant at the same time…

Suffice to say this game is very, very addictive. There’s the fact that different methods can be employed to achieve the same goals. There’s the fact that straying off the path slightly will often lead to an armoury where you’ll discover extra medikits, grenades, or Iraqi weapons to use…and you can’t beat spraying the bad guys with an AK-47. All the time you’ll be trying to do it a different way in order to receive more medals and promotions when you complete the mission and, in fact, while the missions are probably fairly repetitive in retrospect, I could quite easily pay for a whole lot more of the same.

Y’see, there’s always something new to learn. Once you’ve mastered the basic arts of covert operations then the Desert Storm version of cow-tipping i.e. ‘tank-tipping’ will keep you amused for hours. Tanks are a big problem, quite literally. You can hear ‘em coming from miles off but all it takes is a quick peek round the wrong corner and it’s all over (thus you’ll need to learn this method as well). You’ll need to get to grips with smoke grenades, which seem pointless until you realise they’re the only way you can complete some missions, and find yourself scouring outhouses for more of them. You’ll need to know the difference between LAWs and RPGs, because one of them won’t take a tank out unless you can figure out a way to shoot the tank right up the flue with it (the “Besieged” level will teach you this, one way or the other). Then there’s the anti-tank mine to figure out, and the best use of the rest of your demolitions portfolio. Another tip here – if you’ve planted C4 to blow up an installation, then move to a location that can be easily defended, or better still your next objective before you set it off. Achieving objectives like this often triggers the arrival of enemy soldiers en masse.

With Foley you’ll need to master the ability to roll from side-to-side whilst zoomed-in with the telescopic site, or you’ll be instant hamburger the minute someone realises the SAS are in town. By the time you get to the “Air Cover” level, you’ll need to know absolutely everything, including where best to leave a Claymore mine lying around. This is an excellent, excellent mission, and for the first time you’ll literally be in a running battle, having to position your men so that you’re covered from attack from behind as well as in front of you. Play this mission on the hard level and the game will last you a whole lot longer.

The game ain’t perfect though. I got caught out by the ‘game saving’ limitations and ended up having to do a couple of difficult levels from scratch. However, far more annoying was the problem of inventory items disappearing into thin air when trying to pass them from one soldier to another. Spreading your medikits, grenades, and (especially) RPGs between you is crucial, but when you receive an “UNABLE TO TRANSFER” message on the screen as you’re sharing out the last things that can possibly defeat a tank, it’ll infuriate you. I managed to lose about eight clips of ammo and an RPG, when I really needed it, for absolutely no reason whatsoever, and I never did manage to find out why it happened so I can’t even tell you how to avoid the same problem yourself. Then there’s the fact that while a soldier can bring down a helicopter gunship with a machine gun – eventually – it’s still possible to get him stuck behind or between parts of the scenery. This happened to me a couple of times, leading to a so-called battle hardened soldier floundering like a kipper as an Iraqi soldier slowly but surely killed him with little more than a potato gun. Hence the title of my review, which describes a situation where a humble cardboard box led to me having to switch my PS2 off and on again.

The other recurrent problem is the inability to identify a weapon you’ve found before you actually pick it up. You might have no ammo left, and be totally reliant on scavenging a weapon from somewhere to avoid trying to beat an Iraqi soldier with a combat knife when he’s got a bazooka. In this situation it doesn’t help that if the same soldier picks up two versions of the same weapon, then you’re stuffed. Why? Because ALL the ammo he has automatically falls into one of the two weapons, and you can’t share ammo once it’s allocated to a weapon. You’ll end up in the situation where Connors has an AKSU with 1,000 rounds in it, and Jones has the same weapon with a measly 30 rounds. This is enough of a pain in the arse on its own, but having two very similar looking weapons in the game (the AK-47, and the AK-74) means that you’ll probably make this mistake more than once. Fighting a gun battle in an aircraft hangar when all one of your soldiers has left is a pistol isn’t easy, not when it’s about a mile from one end of the hangar to the other.

However, spread over ten or so levels and at least a month of avid gameplay, these problems soon disappear. Overall, this is an absolutely stonking game, and well worth the 30 or 40 quid. By now you’ll be able to buy pre-owned copies, which will save you a bundle and further increase the value. Like me, you’ll probably be wishing there was more of it, but hey, with US troops all over Iraq at the moment, and Bush’s tendency to invade other countries combined with Blair’s tendency to follow him blindly, then it won’t be long be long before there’s more content matter to use as the basis for a C:DS III. Let’s hope so (about the game, not the real life stuff).