Dead Lucrative

Written for Fuel Inc. magazine, July 2009.
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Dead Lucrative
You’ll see dead people – lots of ‘em. Who knew it paid though?

I know, I know - hanging out with the folks and their friends is already bad enough, so why on Earth would you want to hang out with cadavers for a job? But that’s the point. If we were all squeamish then we’d have no paramedics, tattoo artists, midwives, and certainly no funeral directors. In the words of Monty Python, you need to “Always look on the bright side of life”.

Well…death, that is.

The good news is that if you can keep your breakfast waffles down, stay at college for 2-4 years, and resist the urge to say, “Why so serious?” to those in the waiting room of the funeral home you work in, then this is a job that can easily be done. The better news is that the average starting salary in Canada for a funeral director is more than $40,000, rising by approximately $1,000 before tax for every year you stick at it. Perhaps the best news is that they’ll always, always be new business. The Darwin Awards suggest that there’s plenty of people falling off motorcycles, launching fireworks out of their butt crack, or trying to juggle flaming sticks of dynamite just to get onto TV. You’ll never have to wait long for your next customer. It might even be Johnny Knoxville.

Career constipation? You wouldn’t be the first.

Written for Fuel Inc. magazine, July 2009.

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Career constipation? You wouldn’t be the first.

Take two careers gurus, and three career-changing entrepreneurs for fast and satisfying relief.

The five professionals keeping your career ‘regular’:

1. Karen Dowell – life coach, uses lateral thinking and counselling to identify people’s career goals and ideal work/life balance – aspirations@sympatico.ca
2. Monica Graves – Canada Post cubicle-worker turned jewellery design business-owner, a person following their career dream – http://www.glamjulz.com/contact/#staff
3. Ed Lucas – the hardcore entrepreneur, creating an aviation security firm after 9/11 and a solar & wind power company in response to social attitude change – http://www.tswp.ca
4. Theresa MacDonnell – from uni to Whistler to sandwich shops to the cutting edge of social marketing, constantly remoulds her role to keep it fresh - http://www.empirical.com/about/about.php
5. Doug Schmidt – professional careers counsellor, using comprehensive personality testing to match the individual’s core values and beliefs to their job and work environment - http://www.careersplusinc.com/about_doug.htm

“You get into the elevator on the 20th floor, running into an old friend who mentions they’re considering a career change. What do you tell them in 20 stories?”

That’s the first question I asked them all. Monica Graves reflected, “It’s the scariest decision you’ll ever make,” but, as Doug Schmidt reassures me, “It’s normal to be fearful, but taking no action is worst of all.” So whether it’s your current career or academic area that feels bloated, don’t leave it too long for a laxative.

The first thing you need to know is what floats your boat? As Ed Lucas says, “It’s not just about money. Before that you need self-satisfaction, room for personal growth, and alignment with whatever it is that you’re doing.” Whatever you decide suits you, don’t settle for less. And if you still can’t put your Dorito-covered finger on it, then as Theresa MacDonnell says, “Think about the best day you ever had at work…then ask why it was the best.”

Feeling grounded yet? Flushed? Don’t worry - people often change careers, their majors, or simply their mind about what’s important to them.

If you’re still choosing subjects then make sure you’re not constrained by circumstances or commitments. As Schmidt says, “Were you under any pressure from parents, peers, or anyone else when you made your career choice?” He adds that the main age group seeking careers consultancy is 25-45, meaning that you, dear reader, are slap-bang in the middle of the consequence-choosing time preceding that. If you’re working but already watching the clock more than porn then that’s bad. “It’s possible you’re under-employed,” explains Dowell. “But if work feels repetitive or you’re being micro-managed then that’s usually a sign.”

Leave it too long to deal with, and you may also find your confidence and self-esteem slipping.

Knowing what you’ll be good at and enjoy is about knowing yourself. The most thorough way is to get yourself tested (see box out) or try, “…tapping into your childhood,” explains Graves. “What was important to you? Who were your role models?” Over time, Lucas advises treating your career like a personal relationship: “Does it feel strong? Is there room to grow?”

Just remember though, as McDonnell says, “Not everyone can have a dream job for life. Over time, you and the world around you will change.” For you, variety might be the most important thing.

Steadddy! Don’t cod liver oil things in the wrong direction:

• Make sure your ideal job will exist long-term.
• Know yourself, your money situation, audience, and what a business plan looks like.
• Surround yourself with supporters, not critics (maybe not in the stall though).
• Remember to thank people for their time, and that, yes, they will check your Facebook page.
• Don’t rush for (even) further education if job experience might…ahem…work best.
• With online resume-style content McDonnell says, “Use STAR as the guide: Situation; Task; Action; Result.”
• Network with friends first, then expand to people already doing your ‘wet dream’ career.
• If applying online, use key words from the job posting in your cover letter and/or resume. You’ll get under the radar of resume-sifting software.

Over-the-counter remedies:

• Know yourself!
• Start testing yourself Schmidt-style.
  
• Read “What Colour Is Your Parachute?”
  
• Read “Zen and the Art of Making A Living.”
• Read “The Unmistakable Touch of Grace.”
  

Farrah Meherali, senior account executive, Kinross + Render

Farrah Meherali, senior account executive, Kinross + Render (worked with Glyn at Kinross + Render Public Relations):

“Glyn is a great guy to have around the office. He's professional, polite and courteous, and always has a kind word to say to people. I very much enjoyed working with Glyn.” 13th July 2009.

Sara Render, Chief Executive, Kinross + Render Public Relations

Sara Render, Chief Executive, Kinross & Render Ltd (managed Glyn at Kinross + Render Public Relations):

“Glyn is intelligent, hard working, highly competent and extremely nice to work with. I have no hesitation in recommending him.” 13th July 2009.