The Life and Times of the Shirtless Back

Human existence these days is more about paying than about anything else.

You drift back into consciousness one morning in a bed that you paid for, in a home that you pay for.  Your alarm clock-radio iPod docking station multimedia centre stirs into life, slowly but surely filling the bedroom with music and chatter, while all the while consuming electricity that you pay for.

Scratching your nuts or your left boob as you trudge into the kitchen, you pay homage to your Neanderthal roots.  Maslow's hierarchy of needs kicks in at stage one as you acknowledge, "I'm hungry".  When you open the fridge, the light that switches on automatically illuminates either a proverbial Santa's grotto of fruit, vegetables, plastic-sealed leftovers, milk, fruit juices, meat and hopefully a beer or two, or if you're like me, a stark clinically-white gaping expanse not unlike a toy store warehouse on Boxing Day.  But regardless of what's in there, you paid for it.  In short, if we had no money then we would already be without two of the most basic tenets of human existence - food, and shelter.

People often visit the bathroom around this time of day.  You sit on a toilet you paid for, wipe your arse with paper you paid for, and flush away whatever delights you've deposited into a sewer system you pay for.  When you shower, unless you're masochistic or catholic, then the water is hot because you pay for it to be heated.  Little water on this planet arrives hot, unless your bathroom happens to be on the side of Mount Etna.  If it is then please stop reading, pack up your stuff, and get the hell out of there.

Of course you need money so you have to go to work.  You pay for the bus, the car, the train, or even the bike that gets you there.  And even when you're there, you have to pay to be there before you've even picked up a pen or touched a post-it note.  What's that you say?  You don't have to pay to work?  Really?  Who feeds you your lunch whilst at work - your employer?  No.  Your employer, instead, enforces an outdated, counter-evolutionary dress code policy that requires you to go out and pay for clothes that you wouldn't ordinarily buy just so that you can feel as though you share a connection with  the other people you work with.  And when you want to go home at the end of the day, you have to pay to do so or get stuck at the office.

But it doesn't end there.

I still write cheques for things from time to time.  And every time I do I have to pay for it.  OK, so it's somewhere under $3 per cheque, but how many cheques does the average person write in a lifetime?  Now multiply that number by the quantity of people on the planet who have a bank account.  Is that thousands of dollars?  Millions?  Billions?  In short, I have to pay to pay.  I have to pay for the privilege of paying someone else for something.

But the truth is even worse than that.

How do I know if I even have enough money to pay someone?  Well, I tend to use online banking.  Amazingly, neither the TD bank nor the CIBC charges me to access my own bank account details via the internet, but just when you think you've managed to escape it you realise you have to pay for that internet access.  When environmentalism started to get trendy just before the end of the 20th century every insidious corporate entity on the planet got on the bandwagon in an attempt to falsely demonstrate that they were environmentally conscious.  Paper bank statements (which you pay for via taxes that pay the postal service) began to be replaced by e-mails with PDF attachments.  But, in an ironic twist, once that service became available, banks began charging those customers who wished to continue to receive a paper bank statement.  So now you have to pay constantly for everything around you, even the most basic needs of a human being.  And then you have to pay for the ability to pay for those things.  And finally, just in order to establish whether or not you have the money to pay for the ability to pay for those things, you have to pay first.

If you go back now and read what I've written from the start, you will realise that you haven't really achieved very much yet but you've been paying for everything already.  And yet society seems surprised that we as a species don't do better.  Sadly, it's not even the case that very few people ever achieve their true potential before the day they die.  The problem is not only that the majority of people have to pay to do a job they hate, while all the time suffering from an unrealised dream of what they would do if money were not holding them back.

Alas, the whole truth is actually a whole lot worse.

Not only do few people ever reach their potential, but many fall in the opposite direction.  The world's streets are littered with grubby, starving, drunk, injured, ill people who started their lives in such a state of poverty that they never really stood a chance no matter what their work ethic or abilities might be.  I wonder how many geniuses are currently shaking a cup full of copper coins with pleading eyes when they should, instead, be curing diseases, harnessing sustainable energies, or pushing the boundaries of art, of space exploration, or of consciousness?  How many people buy lottery tickets because, despite the ridiculous odds stacked against them, they know that it is their only chance to ever push beyond the point of scratching around for a living instead of fulfilling their potential and making the greatest contribution to society that they could?

But the reality is even worse than that!

Our society is so sinister that even people such as I, brought up with a conscience that hangs around my neck like a millstone for my every waking minute, have to think twice before giving money to these people who need it the most.  I feel regret after I've tossed a few coins in that cup because the thought that goes through my mind is, "Am I really the person who should be donating?  Do I really have sufficient to be able to just give some away?  Am I really that far from being the person on their knees in the street, begging for enough just to keep me alive?"  The answer is no, and the quote I am constantly reminded of is, "There but for the grace of god go I".

The fact is that the system we live in makes it very, very difficult for humans to be equitable.  We have to fight, and pay, to be able to leave the nest.  We have to fight to make the rent.  And then if we ever manage to pool enough capital out of the economy to put a deposit down on a house, by the time we've finished paying for that house we're so old that we can't even eat or go to the toilet without someone helping us to do so.

In order just to consider this issue we have to fight to quiet our mind for a few minutes, desperately trying to avoid a society of bright colours, flashing lights, and babbling over-stimulation that occupies, distracts, and entrances us like the front of a Las Vegas fruit machine.  Yet we are told, and we tell our children, that this is "normal" and then get angry when they struggle to understand.  And if they disagree, we tell them that they are immature.  We tell them, "You'll understand one day," infer that they are stupid, undermine their self-esteem, and beat them down like a nail in a coffin until they are as indoctrinated into this system of blind stupidity as we are.

Yet we don't realise it.  We don't even acknowledge that what we are doing, and what we are doing to our children, is wrong.  And then every birthday and every xmas we bombard our children with materialistic goods as if to say, "Well, if you stop disagreeing with Mummy and Daddy then one day you'll be able to buy all this stuff yourself."  And then we act surprised when people riot and loot in London because they believe that they are owed these things but will never have the means to obtain them legitimately.  We get angry.  We say, "Well I paid for MY stuff so they should have to pay too."  We dismiss them as stupid or criminal.  We insist that the government not only puts a stop to it, but does so in the most inhumane way possible, with riot batons and water cannons, and all the while further angering and aggravating those people who already know that they have been deceived, duped, and royally fucked over by the system.

But the truth is much worse than that.

Why?  Because there is no need for anything to be paid for.  We, as a species, already have enough food, concrete, teachers, lab equipment, books, tools, tarmac, iPads for everyone to have one.  There are sufficient resources on the planet for everyone to have that home, that alarm clock, that bed, that education, that food and that love.  Yet we still continue to stick rigidly with money - an invention that dates back before the internet, before X-factor, before space travel, before Einstein, before Leonardo da Vinci, even before the wheel and almost as far back as the invention of fire.

Why?!  Why do we do this to ourselves and - much worse - why do we force all our seceding generations to make exactly the same mistake that we have, over and over?  I can't speak for you, dear reader, but I have come to the conclusion that we can do better.  I want to live in a world where everyone has more than they do now and, the really sad thing is that we could.  Let me say that to you again: we already have so much that everyone could have plenty.  There is already an idea that has been researched over 75 years and turned into a concept.  And that concept has been turned into a plan.  And that plan has now become a working project.  And that project has a name, "The Venus Project".

And yet the best reason we can think of for not dropping whatever we are doing right now, and starting it immediately, is because we're late for a meeting, or because our favourite show is on HBO and we might miss it.  Or because we selfishly, inconsiderately, naively tell ourselves that it is someone else's job to worry about that and - ironically - we need to get home and look after our kids.

Because we still keep telling ourselves that's the only way we can make sure our children don't lose the shirts off their backs too.

James Nunn, ICT team director, Kinross+Render Public Relations

“Glyn was a trusted member of my team and a completely reliable second-in-command. His attention to detail is second to none and as a result he proved a fantastic project manager as well as guaranteeing that nothing could slip, neither deadlines nor budgets. He has writing flair and a creative attitude but most importantly his management and people skills were exemplary. He can communicate at both senior and junior levels with equal skill and grace. He's also capable of making the hard calls and difficult judgments. All in all, I would have no hesitation in recommending him to anyone. If he was living in Amsterdam, I wouldn't be writing this.”

Looking for Glyn's resume?

You can find a palatable summary of Glyn's career highlights and other attributes here:

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/glyn-davies/4/80/298

Dead Lucrative

Written for Fuel Inc. magazine, July 2009.
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Dead Lucrative
You’ll see dead people – lots of ‘em. Who knew it paid though?

I know, I know - hanging out with the folks and their friends is already bad enough, so why on Earth would you want to hang out with cadavers for a job? But that’s the point. If we were all squeamish then we’d have no paramedics, tattoo artists, midwives, and certainly no funeral directors. In the words of Monty Python, you need to “Always look on the bright side of life”.

Well…death, that is.

The good news is that if you can keep your breakfast waffles down, stay at college for 2-4 years, and resist the urge to say, “Why so serious?” to those in the waiting room of the funeral home you work in, then this is a job that can easily be done. The better news is that the average starting salary in Canada for a funeral director is more than $40,000, rising by approximately $1,000 before tax for every year you stick at it. Perhaps the best news is that they’ll always, always be new business. The Darwin Awards suggest that there’s plenty of people falling off motorcycles, launching fireworks out of their butt crack, or trying to juggle flaming sticks of dynamite just to get onto TV. You’ll never have to wait long for your next customer. It might even be Johnny Knoxville.

Career constipation? You wouldn’t be the first.

Written for Fuel Inc. magazine, July 2009.

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Career constipation? You wouldn’t be the first.

Take two careers gurus, and three career-changing entrepreneurs for fast and satisfying relief.

The five professionals keeping your career ‘regular’:

1. Karen Dowell – life coach, uses lateral thinking and counselling to identify people’s career goals and ideal work/life balance – aspirations@sympatico.ca
2. Monica Graves – Canada Post cubicle-worker turned jewellery design business-owner, a person following their career dream – http://www.glamjulz.com/contact/#staff
3. Ed Lucas – the hardcore entrepreneur, creating an aviation security firm after 9/11 and a solar & wind power company in response to social attitude change – http://www.tswp.ca
4. Theresa MacDonnell – from uni to Whistler to sandwich shops to the cutting edge of social marketing, constantly remoulds her role to keep it fresh - http://www.empirical.com/about/about.php
5. Doug Schmidt – professional careers counsellor, using comprehensive personality testing to match the individual’s core values and beliefs to their job and work environment - http://www.careersplusinc.com/about_doug.htm

“You get into the elevator on the 20th floor, running into an old friend who mentions they’re considering a career change. What do you tell them in 20 stories?”

That’s the first question I asked them all. Monica Graves reflected, “It’s the scariest decision you’ll ever make,” but, as Doug Schmidt reassures me, “It’s normal to be fearful, but taking no action is worst of all.” So whether it’s your current career or academic area that feels bloated, don’t leave it too long for a laxative.

The first thing you need to know is what floats your boat? As Ed Lucas says, “It’s not just about money. Before that you need self-satisfaction, room for personal growth, and alignment with whatever it is that you’re doing.” Whatever you decide suits you, don’t settle for less. And if you still can’t put your Dorito-covered finger on it, then as Theresa MacDonnell says, “Think about the best day you ever had at work…then ask why it was the best.”

Feeling grounded yet? Flushed? Don’t worry - people often change careers, their majors, or simply their mind about what’s important to them.

If you’re still choosing subjects then make sure you’re not constrained by circumstances or commitments. As Schmidt says, “Were you under any pressure from parents, peers, or anyone else when you made your career choice?” He adds that the main age group seeking careers consultancy is 25-45, meaning that you, dear reader, are slap-bang in the middle of the consequence-choosing time preceding that. If you’re working but already watching the clock more than porn then that’s bad. “It’s possible you’re under-employed,” explains Dowell. “But if work feels repetitive or you’re being micro-managed then that’s usually a sign.”

Leave it too long to deal with, and you may also find your confidence and self-esteem slipping.

Knowing what you’ll be good at and enjoy is about knowing yourself. The most thorough way is to get yourself tested (see box out) or try, “…tapping into your childhood,” explains Graves. “What was important to you? Who were your role models?” Over time, Lucas advises treating your career like a personal relationship: “Does it feel strong? Is there room to grow?”

Just remember though, as McDonnell says, “Not everyone can have a dream job for life. Over time, you and the world around you will change.” For you, variety might be the most important thing.

Steadddy! Don’t cod liver oil things in the wrong direction:

• Make sure your ideal job will exist long-term.
• Know yourself, your money situation, audience, and what a business plan looks like.
• Surround yourself with supporters, not critics (maybe not in the stall though).
• Remember to thank people for their time, and that, yes, they will check your Facebook page.
• Don’t rush for (even) further education if job experience might…ahem…work best.
• With online resume-style content McDonnell says, “Use STAR as the guide: Situation; Task; Action; Result.”
• Network with friends first, then expand to people already doing your ‘wet dream’ career.
• If applying online, use key words from the job posting in your cover letter and/or resume. You’ll get under the radar of resume-sifting software.

Over-the-counter remedies:

• Know yourself!
• Start testing yourself Schmidt-style.
  
• Read “What Colour Is Your Parachute?”
  
• Read “Zen and the Art of Making A Living.”
• Read “The Unmistakable Touch of Grace.”